We've all heard the platitude, "Be confident", right? Easier in theory. Confidence is an ambigious, all encompassing term that ladies KNOW when they see it, but can't quite take their finger on it. Other guys KNOW once they meet a cool, confident man, nevertheless they may not understand what makes this one pickup artist better than all of those other lamers.

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Well, here are MY practical suggestions on developing both inner and outer confidence outside of a PUA Bootcamp. It's essentially a self-feeding loop, stuff that you do on the outside (your gestures, movements, etc.) feed to your own ego as well as the other way round. When you ARE confident, then you ACT confident. This is simply not easy to develop for most guys.



Should you aren't "naturally" a confident guy, then you're basically going to have to fake it before you make it. And yes, it's going to be hard and ladies are going to be able to read all the way through you in the beginning. But it's like muscle training, it's PUA Training. It will take a lot of time, practice, and social development. You'll learn to develop this social savvy, flirting skills and you also won't be nervous in social settings. But like exercising, it's gonna hurt and stay uncomfortable as you supersize those flirting muscles.



***Outer Confidence***



1. MOVE SLOW. I can't mean robot slow, but a VERY self-assured "I'm in no hurry to help you sit your ass down and hold back until I'm done" kind of slow. What this means is controlling any nervous tics constantly hand movements, turning around and around, rubbernecking like some tourist at the hot girls, scurrying around & getting away from people's way, etc. You may be animated, but don't look like a yapping puppy dog on caffeine.



2. LEAN BACK (Sitting). If you are sitting, lean back and stay COMFORTABLE. Your comfort, relaxation and pleasure Tend to be more IMPORTANT than what other people think of you. When you're bullshitting with your friends inside the living room, odds are you're kicking back in the couch and relaxing like the couch potato you are. The same goes for almost any other social setting. YOUR COMFORT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT OTHERS Think about YOU.



3. LEAN BACK (Standing). The same thing goes for when you're standing and talking to someone. I was at Drama Club once i saw this cute, blonde girl increase and talk to these Asian guys. The main one guy was very animated (nothing necessarily wrong with that), but was leaning forward and backward into the girl. The clown- er, guy- appeared as if a pendulum seeing how fast he kept on moving back in and out. Believe me, that's weird. Ideally, you need to appear chill and relaxed. As you talk to someone, you (like a sign of comfort, and intimacy) begin to lean in while SHE leans in as well.



4. SMILE & FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. Don't smile TOO much, but give her a smile. Too much smiling makes you look like a tool. Also realize that there are TONS of various smiles and facial expressions. You have the sexy smile, the smoldering smile, the poking fun at you/me smile, the smirk, the innocent smile, the puzzled smile, the "you're retarded" look, the "I wish to kiss you" look, the "Fuck me now" look, sticking your tongue out at her, etc. Use them ALL. Asians especially need to do this because, for whatever reason, our facial expressions aren't one of the most readable to others.



5. FEET. Just like #3, when you're standing, don't stand just like a girl: your feet and knees are together. Stand just like a man. Men take up lots of space. We need air to circulate between our bait n' tackle. Spread the feet apart. This also has the additional benefit of giving you better balance just in case some meathead wants to knock your block off.



6. DRINKS. In case you are holding a drink, don't hug it like it is your only friend. Hold it down with you. Look around you when you're in a bar. People hold their drinks before their chest like it's their baby or they don't know what to do with their hands. And NEVER, EVER BUY A GIRL A DRINK in order to talk to her. That's lame and he or she knows it. Lots of pretty women use that tactic to acquire free drinks. Now, it's OK afterwards when you've been flirting together with her, sitting with her, chilling together with her for 30 minutes to an hour. Then it's like you're just purchasing a round of drinks for you personally and your friends. But NEVER Purchase a GIRL A DRINK as a way to open up a girl.



7. TOUCH. Do not be afraid to touch girls. I mean, don't you enjoy it when a women touches your arm, chest, back, etc.? Same with girls, they enjoy physical touch as well. Obviously, however, there always a comfort line. But while you flirt, that comfort increases. You are able to touch the shoulder, arm, offer her a noogie, pick her up, booty bump her, spin her around, throw your arm over her shoulders, hugs, etc. An advanced cool guy, they will adore it. Again, this takes some skill to build up.



8. VOICE VOLUME. If you are talking in a loud venue, you have to be able to speak loudly and clearly. Nobody pays attention to the guy who's just whispering. Conversely, you need to be able to pull a girl in and start speaking slowly and seductively.



9. VOICE SPEED. Don't not speak Too quickly. It's a sign of nervousness and discomfort. If you sound like some kid who forgot his daily dose of Ritalin, you're gonna weird people out.



10. CONVERSATION. You should be able to generate conversation immediately. You say something, she says something. If you cannot hold a conversation for that life of you, start practicing and doing more together with your life so you HAVE something to speak about. Be humorous, playful, excited, sad, vunerable, curious, etc.



11. DOMINATE. Physical space is definitely an illusion. It's something that's really just in our minds. Don't be afraid to get involved with someone's physical space or they into yours. If you're flirting with someone, slowly take on their space. When turning people around, place you on their shoulder and gently move them. Tapping on their own shoulder is weak. In the event you go up to a table approach someone, place both hands available and lean.

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12. EYE CONTACT. This is self-obvious. In other counries, his full attention isn't a big deal, but in America and Europe, it almost certainly is. If you can't MAKE and HOLD eye contact, you're considered timid, shy or- even worse- weak both in worlds.



Hell, there's more but I'll explore that another time. After i have time, I'll explore inner confidence, your beliefs and reality.

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